My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
