Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
