Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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