3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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