i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
