...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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