I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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