i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it hurts more in the daytime
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
