Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
