Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
