If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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