mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
