you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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