My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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