have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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