I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
