He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
