apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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