Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
