Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
