Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
