I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
