sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
