Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
