Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
