u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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