So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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