That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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