dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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