Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
