And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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