Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
