she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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