and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.