if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.