she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
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We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.