so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she looked like the before picture.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
