Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
