I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
