Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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