So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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