My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize