You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
