Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize