Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
