Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize