No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
