Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
