I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
