So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
