I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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