i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
