Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
