I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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