I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
