that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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