I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
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I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
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Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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